Review #10 - The Lord's Kitchen

Posted by Prefers His Tots Tatered | | Posted On Monday, February 16, 2009 at 9:49 PM


Finally, our city-wide pilgrimage to find the ultimate burger joint arrived this week at the Lord’s Kitchen. After fasting all day, and still disappointed over our previous visit to Murf’s, we were all in the mood for some redemption. Most of our burger blog team had already experienced the Lord’s Kitchen and were faithful followers; others had only heard of its mythical status, yet were still agnostic as to whether this burger heaven really exists.

The Lord’s Kitchen is located at 118 Seguin Street, about a mile northeast of downtown off of I-35.

Upon entering, you quickly become aware that the meal you’re about to eat will truly be a spiritual experience. Just look at the Bible verse hung outside the front door.

Pretty heavy stuff for a burger joint if you ask me, but we all genuflected before entering just to be safe. The Lord’s Kitchen is an order-at-the-counter kind of place. We arrived a little after 11:30 to try to beat the rush, but the line to order was already out the door. Apparently, this place is no longer a San Antonio secret.

In our experience, most burger joints seem to have an open kitchen policy allowing their customers to catch a glimpse of the craftsmanship. At the Lord’s, however, a door separates the kitchen from its customers.

Of course in this case, the Lord’s is simply doing us mere mortals a favor by not allowing our eyes to set sight on His holiness behind the grill (Health Inspectors included). And yes, on the counter that's an autographed picture of none other than the first family of sitcom royalty…the Bundys. Apparently, Al was finally able to take a well deserved vacation from his woman’s shoe salesman gig to come down to the Alamo city.

The Burger – 9 out of 10

The burgers at the Lord’s Kitchen are truly divine. The patties are thick and cooked to perfection. None of that lean, healthy stuff served in the house of the Lord. Nope, just pure, greasy ground beef. Burgers got an average rating of 9, which is the highest of any of our ratings to date. Here are the testimonials of my fellow bloggers:

Burger Boy – This was a great burger, the meat was as close to perfectly seasoned as you can get.

Fry Daddy – The patty was perfect - slightly crispy on the outside but hot and juicy on the inside.

Burgermeister Meisterburger – ½ lb. burger was the perfect size. Burger cooked to my liking, a slight bit more well done, but not so much that it removed too much juiciness. The bun was treated with butter to make an excellent compliment to the patty.

Justice Warren E. Burger – A light and buttery bun, with the right amount of thickness, the meat was well flavored and clearly fresh, not frozen

Hamburglar – The burger at Lords was truly blessed, and the bun to patty ratio was almost immaculate. After eating the burger, I felt reconciled and enlightened

Where’s the Beef -- Left "where's the beef" thinking that he finally found the beef he's been searching for his whole life. The burger was seasoned to perfection and the bun was buttered and toasted the same

Sides – 5.5 out of 10

With all the time spent perfecting the art of the burger, it was to be expected that sides were going to suffer (we knew things were going to be bad when we noticed the absence of tots on the menu). Well, the Lord’s Kitchen performs just average in this department scoring a 5.5.

The fries were hand cut, but some thought they were a little limp and greasy.

Onion rings were a little better, but you could still tell they probably weren’t hand made.

In full disclosure though, we only had the onion rings and fries but the menu included nachos as well (I’m not really sure if nachos are sides, but this is where they are listed on the menu, and I sure as hell am not going to correct it).

Ambience – 6.5 out of 10

Well, you know how they always say that the Lord hung out with beggars and sinners? I guess that’s the motif they’re going for at the Lord’s Kitchen. Here are a few shots of our serene surroundings…

The interior is a cluster of random trinkets. So much for not idolizing false gods…

Despite the lack of curb appeal and oddities spread throughout the place, we sort of felt that it all added to the charm. Believe it or not, we actually had a 6.5 score for ambience, but I think our judgment was clouded with the thoughts of delicious, meaty burgers still on the brain.


Those bloggers who are a glass-half-full type thought the service was outstanding since your burger is brought out right to your table. However, the Debbie Downers in the group were miffed with the long order line and the lengthy wait time. This particularly bugged Where’s the Beef, but I don’t remember him saying much about it though after he inhaled his burger. Personally, I don’t think there is much to add here since there is no wait staff, and you order at the counter.


Your tidings should easily cover your costs here as the Lord’s is very affordable. Just save that $5 spot from the collection plate on Sunday and go buy yourself a burger from the Lord’s Kitchen instead. Trust me, you’re doing God’s work.

We all left the Lord’s Kitchen feeling much better about ourselves and our place in the universe. Sure, the Lord’s isn’t 100% perfect with its average sides, shady surroundings, and odd decorating taste, but I think Where’s the Beef summed up the Lord’s Kitchen the best when he said that “the Lord’s superior burger quality forgives all other sins.”


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