Review #9 - Murf's Better Burger

Posted by Justice Warren E. Burger | | Posted On Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 9:19 PM

Murf's, a Tragedy

By the Honorable Chief Justice Warren E. Burger

We came to Murf's with hope for a better burger, a better french fry, perhaps... a better life. Alas, those hopes were stolen from us, much like a hungry woman who knows she ordered a single cheeseburger and yet still takes the double cheeseburger that is clearly not hers. (Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself.)

The location, at 7102 San Pedro Ave, San Antonio, TX‎, apparently was not nice enough for a Whataburger, or whatever used to occupy this thin stretch of prime real estate across from a Cash 4 Checks store.

Murf's is a complicated operation. It has a drive up:

...a drive thru:

...and a fine dining room, white tablecloths not included:

Unfortunately for its patrons, all 3 stations are manned by this guy:

(Actually he was probably the best part about Murf's. He worked very hard. Most employees of this place would have walked into San Pedro traffic by now.)

Burgers. So the location and the service weren't great, but how about the food, you ask? The burgers got an average rating of a 3 out of 10. Hamburgler gave them a 4.5, but for that rating the place must have given him a better bribe.

Sides. Prefers His Tots Tatered was rightly dismayed by the lack of tator tots. Yours truly was sorely disappointed by the absence of onion rings. (The Chief Justice likes to eat his veggies.) With an average score of 1.5, the rest of the burger clan agreed. The only sides were fries, and they were about as good as what the elementary school lunch lady made, only with less seasoning.

Where's the beef? got his milkshake (which was not great), while the rest of us got this:

This is the refund we got after the shake machine broke down. The last shake that the machine made was so bad, it just gave up. "I'm done!" So after the meal, 3 of us went to Sonic for milkshakes. It was the best thing we ate all day.

Ambiance. Now here is where Murf's really shines. Delightful decorative touches abound. Fresh flowers:

State of the art soundsystem:

They also seem to have taken our President's call for a green revolution to heart, by installing compact fluorescent light bulbs:

...well, 3 out of 5 at least.

Also, Murf's exhibits the latest in wireless phone technology:

(In case you can't tell, that's an empty box.)

And to complete this urban oasis, there's a palm tree:

Even with all of that, the reviewers gave Murf's an average of 2.5 for ambiance. Murf's was so bad, even the Chief Justice can't really capture it. So I leave you with a smattering of comments from my fellow sufferers:

Prefers His Tots Tatered: "...just very unremarkable. Tasted much like a lower quality fast food burger." "I cannot imagine a scenario where sides would be worse."

Hamburgler: "At best, I'd say it was mediocre."

Fry Daddy: "Murf got the fries straight from the supermarket frozen food section, although I think he may have had some trouble following the preparation directions on the bag. And I still want my shake."

Where's the Beef?: "One word- a lesser version of a McDonald's hamburger." "Looked like a bombed out Sonic." "One of the worst fries I've ever had in my life."

Burger Boy: "Of all the burger's I've eaten, this was one of them."


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