Review #32 - Porky's Burgers & More

Posted by Hamburglar | | Posted On Monday, August 17, 2009 at 9:58 PM

This week we visited a relatively new burger joint in town called Porky’s, located at 2426 Culebra Rd. Are you curious about the name Porky’s? Well according to Porky’s website, the name is derived from the owner’s nickname and his fond memories of growing up in a big family and watching the classic movie “Porky’s.” Honestly, I was unaware that the movie Porky’s was a classic. My recollection is that Porky’s is a raunchy comedy laden with inappropriate jokes. Interestingly, some reviews have referred to it as a comedy classic. Let’s take a look at how this “classic” film helped inspire a restaurant.

As you can see above, “I got porked at Porky’s” is the slogan at Porky’s Burgers and More. A tad inappropriate, a little raunchy, and arguably comedic. So far, I can see where the film Porky’s has influenced this restaurant. But wait, they take it one step further…. they capture the likeness of the President and his love of the hamburger.

Burgermeister Meisterburger, always a fan of the raunchy and inappropriate, was beside himself with the décor and we all anxiously wondered how the burgers might be affected. Fry Daddy told the group, “when in Rome,” and we each stepped up to the counter and decided to get porked.

The Burger – 7 out of 10

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Porker.

Most of our group ordered the Porker, but some of our more dainty members ordered the Piglet below.

We all agreed that the burger was well seasoned and tasty, but it was missing that certain something to make it into our elite group of top burgers. Perhaps, like the movie Porky’s, it was a little too on the raunchy side. Here’s what some of our reviewers had to say:

Fry Daddy (Our Overzealous Cheddar Enthusiast) - This was a difficult call. The beef seemed freshly ground and was thick and tasty. However, the shredded cheddar cheese had a dry, crumbly texture. I recommend the chefs at Porky’s try Tillamook cheddar, which in my experience is not prone to some of the texture problems found in some generic cheese brands.

The Chief Justice (Our version of the character Pee-Wee from the movie Porky’s) - The patty was very well seasoned, enough to make this pig happy. The burger was kind of on the small side, but as you know the Chief Justice is just a little guy. The bun was simple, but very soft and with a nice char on the outside from being placed on the griddle. A solid, tasty burger.

Sides – 5 out of 10

Overall, the sides were average. The regular fries were pretty disappointing, but the seasoned fries were actually quite good, even though we figured they weren’t made with fresh cut potatoes. Make sure to order seasoned fries when you get porked. Here’s what our resident sleuth and Matlock lover, Burgermeister Meisterburger, had to say about the sides: “When I asked the cashier what kind of seasoning was on the ‘Seasoned Fries,’ he said ‘I don’t know. Whatever they come out of the bag with.’ At least they did not try to pass them off as homemade. Nonetheless, they were decently tasty.”

Ambiance – 7 out of 10

This place has a lot of potential. Flat-screen TV’s adorn the walls and the layout is open with plenty of space for seating. There’s only one problem with the ambiance at Porky’s – see if you can spot it below.

Having trouble? Let’s head out to Porky’s Pig Pen Patio and see if you can find it there.

And the missing element is …. customers. We were literally the only customers in the restaurant during the noon hour. This, my friends, was a San Antonio Burger Blog first. Out of all the burger joints we have been to, there have always been other customers. Burger Boy put it best: “It definitely has potential, but the cavernous space entirely devoid of customers was more than a little creepy.” We’re hoping the lack of customers was simply a rare occurrence on the particular day we happened to stop in for a burger. With the addition of some customers, Porky’s would have all the elements of a classic burger joint:

A Good Burger at a Decent Price.

License Plate Décor.

A Pacman/Galaga Machine.

Plus beer on tap and lots of flat-screens, what more could you want? Maybe a little company. Next time you’re looking for a new burger joint to try, head over to Porky’s and get porked.

Price – Good

My Porker Combo set me back about 7 bucks, which isn’t too bad for a burger, fries and a drink.

Service – Good

Come on, we were literally the only people in the joint, how could service be bad?


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